When all the
MBA students were about to start their first job after the final placement
season, it was shagun who was compelled to attend family meetings to find her
prospective groom, no matter she already had a call letter from a multinational
company already by her side.
‘Shagun’s
shadi ‘was the biggest concern of Mansukhbhai. Living in a village wherein a
cow like daughter raises father’s goodwill, he always dreaded her daughter eloping with a boy.
‘Beta, you
have seen my love, and you will see my hatred if you ever even think of
eloping, ever’
‘Promise me
shanu that you will marry a boy of my choice. And you will never ditch me by
running away from the mandap’
‘Shanu, I
will find an ultra rich groom for you so you don’t take the pain to find one by
yourself’.
…shagun was
always bombarded with such advices or rather subtle warnings from her insecured
father. How can she forget her 8th birthday when she was gifted with
a pub and she named it ‘Bunny’?
Her father
scratched his head questioning ‘what if Bunny was the name of the boy her girl
liked?’ And inorder to interrogate the matter he visited shagun’s class teacher
the very next day just to ask if there was any boy named ‘Bunny’ in her class.
Her father
attempted to create An ‘Only female’ planet for her girl. No male friends on
facebook, on phone book or even around her and so, she was made to study in
‘All girls’ school and college after her 10th grade. But when he
couldn’t erase males from the corporate world he decided to better withdraw her
daughter from that world. Thus, he ejected ‘Corporate’ life from Shagun’s fate.
Love is like
water it finds its way even through closed doors and the same happened with
Shagun. Love bug bit her during her
frequent visits to ‘Mamta Saree’ shop, accompanying her mom. Texts, phonecalls,
letter…nothing. It was the chemistry of
4 eyes which lead to love between Shagun and Rishi , the shop owner’s son.
***********************
‘Babuji, has
fixed a boy for me. He is coming to see me, tomorrow.’ She said wondering, how
just in an year she had made this Emotionally unavailable person- Rishi , her
only comfort pillow.
There was not a slightest change in Rishi’s
facial expression. And that day shagun
knew that it feels bad when you love someone and marry someone else, but it
hurts more when you marry someone else and the one you love doesn’t give a damn
about it. But she didn’t even have the right to accuse Rishi of it , after all that smart chap had declared in his proposal
itself that he was a family guy , not available for ‘Love’ marriage but only
for love.
‘Umm…why
don’t you consult your mom about this mess.’ He said stuffing grilled sandwich
in his mouth.
Mother…hearing
it she recalled that she has one. A lady who spends half of her day worshipping
god and the other half in preaching others to do the same. Weekly fasts,
wearing the Sapphire and coral rings, giving 5 wheat flour ladoos to cow daily,
worshipping ‘Tulsi’ plant every morning, chanting ‘Giriraj’ chalisa before sleeping at night,
consuming food only made by a Vaishnav , were all the things her mom followed
obediently just because their family Pandit -Yogi baba had instructed her. Wearing pompous clothes, eating delicious
food, visiting adventurous places, or even having any grudges towards a person
were the things erased from her mom’s system long back. For her Moksh was the ultimate goal. She cooked
for her family, attended family functions, used a Nokia cell phone on the request of Mansukhbhai, watched
‘Ballika Vadhu’ with Shagun, but she was a hermit by heart. She was indifferent
to the problems around, she rarely heed attention to family discussions. And so
‘Mom’ wasn’t a right choice to consult, thought Shagun.
‘Rishi, you
are the man I want to marry. Let’s leave everything and elope.’
‘I love you
and I want to give our love a chance. So, that I don’t regret my whole life
that I didn’t even give a shot.’
‘It’s like
either I will marry you or not marry at all.’
…and several
other dialogues were already rehearsed by Shagun. But as soon as Rishi said
‘Umm, Reject the boy and if it doesn’t work, marry him. After all, someday or
the other you have to marry.’
…with this her
rehearsed dialogues died an unnatural death.
Suddenly, Rishi glued his eyes on her while
holding the sandwich midair. Following his eyes, she knew that her yellow
floral kurti failed to conceal her cleavage.
Cleavage and
Marriage …they rhyme so well but have such equal and opposite reaction on men.
One brings them near and the other makes them go far, one excites them the
other worries them, one brings their penis up and the other brings it down, one
makes them say ‘But I love you’ and the other ‘I love you but..’
Her heart
felt heavy. It all felt suffocating. A wave of emotions surged on the surface
of her soul. She felt like banging her head on the wall , she felt like
slapping that ‘Namard’ enjoying the sandwich before her while she
was getting sandwiched by ugly circumstances and lastly she felt like crying.
Like a lifeless body she kept giving cold stares to Rishi until he left the
half eaten sandwich back on the plate.
‘All well,
baby?’ he asked finding Shagun numb.
Nothing more
was left to be asked or answered.
After a
couple of minutes, she stood up from the chair and displayed her middle finger
to him with a rude and loud ‘Bye’.
Before he could
react or even realize what went on she had left as an enigma.
******
Leaving everything
and everyone behind she eloped to grab her new job.
Just when she was waiting for the train on Vijaypur station a doubt emerged.‘Won't it be
difficult to live alone’
A perfect “No’’
was the instant reply. ‘After all, I was no less than alone all these years.’
*****
Mansukhbhai
had witnessed his sister getting burden alive by the community head because she
had committed the heinous crime of falling in love before marriage and he never
wanted to paint the same fate for his daughter.
Just before he turned
a teetotaler he used to drink heavily and it was followed with sessions of
domestic violence on his wife, which resulted into her becoming a household hermit.
While Rishis’s life was layered with meanings others could hardly decipher, an
austere joint family life, about to retire father, his own joblessness inspite
of being a CA, her mother’s preference for Geeta aunty’s daughter and his own
doubts in the foundation of marriage.
When Shagun understood the other half of the story , she went to the crowded Mumbai railway station and waited for the train that never arrived.
'Please pay attention. The train to Vijaypur is cancelled.'
---Janvi Sonaiya
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