‘A prince charming on w hite horse’ this is how she perceived
him. As he was ‘Cool’ with her late night parties, , with her modeling career,
with her ‘Friend zoned’ army, with her preference for love marriage over
arranged, with her way of wearing appealing skin hugging clothes, with her
disdain for domestic work; Neev was ok with all the things a male chauvinist
would deny.
Nupur’s search for a deserving man or say a ‘Customized
boyfriend’ finally came to halt when she met Neev, A man of liberated thoughts
and terse words, having above average IQ and below average Emotional quotient,
comic-lover, hardcore non- vegetarian, purely patient, having mother tongue
Hindi and other tongue ‘sarcasm’, a man from commerce background who finds
hidden science in anything and everything around, even in a girl’s kiss.
*
She was drained off, after all travelling to different cities
for shoot as a struggling model with tons of makeup , higher than high heels to
conceal her ‘5’3’ height and double padded bra to trade for her breastlessness;
wasn’t a cake walk.
She was standing in the balcony wearing a blue ‘Caption
America’ T-shirt which she bought just because Neev likes it. She curiously dialed
Neev’s number planning to have a long fulfilling talk with him. But it wasn’t
surprising that the call ended in just 5 minutes after discussing who was
better: Iron man or Batman. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew Neev
belonged to a different folk, someone very individualist, and someone with whom
you talk using your brain, not heart. After all, everyone can’t be Asif.
Asif, with a single name millions of memories overloaded in
her heart. That everything typical about their relation:, 30 calls a day, an
extra uninor SIM just to talk with him, late night adult talks, defeating
geographical distance of 300 kms just to meet every weekend, exchanging expensive
gifts brought by saving every penny, hiding in public gardens just for a lip
lock, bunking classes, giving excuses to parents just to meet and love.
But why was she thinking of Asif , when Neev was the person
she always dreamt of?
‘Just reached home’ she texted at 12 in the midnight.
‘You came alone or with someone..?’ Neev questioned.
‘When will you go? ,
with whom will you go? When will you return? , ‘What are you wearing?’ …In
short, interrogation of all kind was expected when your partner was Asif. His
strict No-No’s list was bigger than the Great Wall of China. Don’t wear sleeveless clothes/capris/ one piece,
maximum limit for staying out was 8 pm, this mediocre man believed ‘A girl and
a boy can never be JUST friends’ so no male friends for Nupur, career options
like modeling/acting/reporting would have been banned for female gender if this
man’s ordered worked, a girl should be sanskari
and must know cooking, removing ‘Last seen’ from whats app was a thing of
speculation …and several other grotesque norms.
She blinked, coming out from the whirlpool of thoughts and
replied ‘Sahil dropped me’ when she was suspecting Asif’s attribute of ‘insecurity’
taking birth in Neev, and that was unwelcoming.
‘Cool. Good that you
didn’t came alone at midnight.’ Neev
texted, optimistically.
Oops! Nupur proved to
be judgmental and Neev as always gave the best of his replies.
He respected her career,
gave her enough space to grow, never acted like a possessive brat, shared his
‘Daaru’ wale anecdotes just with the motive to woo her, taught her the things
she was innocent about ranging from Trance to Puns, from Comic world to world
class comedians and much more, he even cracked jokes she tried laughing at and
still he didn’t connect to her soul and that was the million dollar question.
Neev and Nupur rarely dated each other but when they did the
places were restricted to Cinema or restaurant. The memories of watching first
movie with him, was still fresh in her mind. That day she carried a small
cotton duppatta with herself like she always used to do while going for movies.
Her past compelled her to detest
physical relationship, her fragile body was no more ready for touch and still
she expected Neev to take advantage of the cinema’s dark arena, after all there
is one thing all man possess and i.e. lust between their groin .
Astonishment, this is what she experienced sitting next to
Neev in that movie theatre. Like an innocent kid, having neither explored a
creature like women nor interested in doing so, he kept his eyes fixed on the
big screen, critically analyzing the sci-fi movie and paid attention to her
chatter-patter occasionally. Initially she doubted her physical appeal and even
questioned if she was stinging but it was later did she recognize that not
every man, always, has havas ki aag.
Going for movies with ‘opportunist Asif’ was so different; they
would watch everything but movie. He would caress her open hairs, give her an eternal smooch and make his tongue visit her
territory, smoothly slide his hand inside her top and play with her breasts
making her nipples tight, he would then scan the surroundings from the platinum
corner seat for safety and unzip his jeans , and give way to his big fat penis
from his underwear , he would then place her hand on his penis and signal her
to shake his snake ,unwillingly she would do the thing requested till he is
satisfied and at the closure she would meekly take her cotton duppatta and
clean his mess . Stoic, the only thing that kindled was: can love be this ugly?
But Bingo! With Neev she was saved and also her cotton
duppatta.
*
One night, gazing the meaninglessness of
her life she felt like a loner and her life started screening before her.
That horny animal, Asif who yearned to do phone sex every
morning and it resulted into her mastering different types of seductive voices.
His unbearable restrictions and that intense pain he gave her taking her to
several cheap hotels, wooing her with colorful condoms; all for the sake of his
lust labeled as love.
The problem about second love is that it isn’t your first
love. First love comes with feelings and with every proceeding affair the
intensity of feelings diminishes till someday when nothing is left except a
null set. Neev was everything Asif was not. But he was a second love, a
customized love; whose perfection was his biggest imperfection as it turned him
indifferent and incapable to be someone’s shoulder.
Nupur had her own
doleful story; a girl who wanted abundance in life, who opted for a career
which placed her character and body at risk, an exuberant girl but vacuum from
within, a girl whose past failed relation made her an enigma, a living irony,
servile of her past.
Just to expunge the scars of her soul she positioned herself
as someone innocent about the word ‘sex’. Each night she faced several debates
going on within her: A horny addicted body demanding sex and a heart refraining
even a touch.
She came in relationship with Neev after the disaster with
Asif , as having a boyfriend seemed the easiest and the cheapest way to pamper
herself and also to overcome the trauma. While efforts of convincing Neev that
she was an untouched fragrant flower to those helpless tears which demanded a
caring shoulder to pour on, all these resulted into her catching the
Multi-personality disorder, thus some found her extrovert, some introvert and
some called her a bitch.
*
----Janvi Sonaiya
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