Monday, 17 February 2014

The Attire of Attitude.



 The Attire of Attitude

 
I love reading shedney sheldon’s books! (The thought crossed my mind)

‘You know what, in my initial stage when I was a toddler at ready …I used to read the unworthy writer: Shidney Sheldon‘ Priya (name changed) exclaimed with her childlike  ascent. 

With her this comment I was juggling with so many feelings. And further I went as silent as a clock that had lost its batteries.
                                                         *
My eyes twinkled as I stepped in ‘Chocolate heaven’ (Rajkot), after all I placed that place in the list of those places which are meant for upper class people. My eyes witnessed a girl with glossy lips and curly hairs with 4 boys; and I kept scratching my head thinking ‘Among these 4 boys, who was her boy friend?!’, on one corner a couple was busy ‘depicting their love saga’ with their eyes locked to one another, further there was another group of three boys whom I suspected of goggling at me; I cut a glance to them and their eyes were still on me. 

Time just pretended to stand still and I got lost within me. I was dressed so ‘Chumpu’ type: oily pig tail, casual dark pink dress with black leggings, a two year old ‘Sonata’s’ white watch on my wrist and those regular black slippers. My attire made me to think of Priya (Who was chic- as revealed by her whats App dp!), moreover, I was going to meet her for the first time (a friend’s friend). 

The atmosphere of that place made me to feel uneasy. And to just divert my mind I started ogling at the menu card.  I felt restive seeing the prices of the food items as I was in no mood to spend much that day. So, I charily decided that ‘I am not going to order anything’, and if the situation demands ‘ordering something’ than I will just go for a ‘Black Coffee’ (Worth Rs.40!). 

As soon as I lifted my head up from the menu card …I saw Priya with a look which could make a 100 flowers bloom.

                                                         *
‘You know what, I suck at poems. I have only written one poem till date that to about Draupadi.’ Priya said, depicting her verve.

A poem on ‘Draupadi’…! Not my cup of tea.

‘Well, I have also read a book on ‘Draupadi’. The story revolves only around her. I forgot the author’s name but it was indeed a good book. And yeah! I have even read about Lord Buddha, even that book was very lucid.’ Priya started without an intention to end!

Helplessly, I was just nodding my head in unison.


‘And the book which I feel like hugging is Ayn Rand’s books namely  ‘The Fountain Head’, ‘Atlas Shrugged’ , ‘The virtue of Selfishness ‘and many other. I read and re-read her books …’n’ number of times! I am just fond of her and her books.’ Priya pointed out in her voluble English.

Janvi, you didn’t read any of Ayn Rand’s books. Shame! Total shame!

‘As I am in the final year of my MA, we even have ‘literary books’ to read; Means a word and so many meanings for it. Even they are so fun to read.’ Her verve was as always, at her highest pitch.
                                                              *
Everything inside of me collapsed into a singularity, something had broken within me when I acknowledge the fact that I was NO WHERE in comparison to Priya’s expertise. I am considered the Connoisseur for novels in my college; people come to take suggestion from me, if they wish to read anything… I always had this secret suspicion that I was special but before Priya, I didn’t even have a word to utter.

I felt a certain unbridgeable distance between us when I knew what she was and what ‘I’ wasn’t. But I took only a couple of minutes to digest the reality as she was neither egoistic nor a pompous, she was more of innocent and straight forward. She had a great amount of grey matter and also enthrall looks – a lethal combo!
                                                                     *

The world went on, as it does without my full participation, and I only woke up from the reverie when Priya said ‘Janvi, Look at this, the article which I wrote when I was in Xavier’s school -9th Std.’

She placed before me a school newspaper and the paper reminded me of a rugged old woman who has lost her charm.

I than felt like I was playing a chess game wherein I was about to defeat her by saying  ’Check mate’ as I finally brought out my tabloid ‘Rajkot Now!’ to display my work.
She touched those glossy pages of the tabloid and fixed her eyes on the article written by me, while her face still glimmered in total surprise.
                                                             *
‘So, do you work anywhere?’ I asked in a flummoxed manner, doubting that ‘Why such a talented girl is showing me her article written in 9th std., won’t she be doing a good job right now!’

‘No, I am not into any job. In Rajkot, there is dearth of good employers and moreover the payment scale is also; peanut like! Rajkot seems to shallow in comparison to Ahmedabad. Even the people here seem a bit of narrow minded in comparison to my former city.’ She avowed with the brilliance of her smile dimming a bit.

It took me forever to figure out what I wanted to say, & even then I wasn’t very happy with it as…her words reminded me of my journey in Rajkot ; being a girl from khambhaliya I found Rajkot sooo…vast and being from Ahmadabad she found Rajkot sooo…shallow! 

Her talks threw me in the skeleton of memory …


…memories  of my journey…wherein I was rejected several times by several firms. I was happy to serve them for FREE but still; the employers closed the doors for me. And, how can I forget RajkotNow! The tabloid in which I am presently working…I worked for them for around 1 year, without expecting a single penny in return. Those were the days when I was deprived of a scooty and still I had to roam in this big city to meet people and come up with an article, I even didn’t have a laptop and so those endless visits to cyber café were just…! But today the whole equation is different as today I am valued, I am paid and I am given a chance to grow. I suffered & I survived!
        
Here, the whole drama was about the attitude one has for a city or for one’s work, which made all the difference in our lives as otherwise I was wise and she was WISER! 
                                                                *
Pink, black, Red, yellow… No matter what color of attire I wear as the only attire I then took serious note of: was my ‘Attire Of attitude’.


From Janvi’s Honey bag…                                                   *



 

Sidhiya un ke liye bani hai,
Jinhe sirf chatt par jana hai.
Aasma par ho jinki nazar,
Unhe to rasta khud banana hai..!

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